The BiCon team were very saddened to hear about the sudden death of Kay Dekker on 7th July. Kay was a well loved and very long-time member of the UK bi community and was on the organising team of three BiCons. Our thoughts are with Kay's close people and we ask that their wishes not to be overwhelmed with contact are respected at this time.
We are working on plans for a space at this year’s BiCon for people to be able to remember Kay. Because so many people will want to go, and the venue are not allowed to let us drink outside, we need to schedule it for a big enough space, which does limit the times it can be.
At the moment it is likely to be sometime on Friday evening ensuring that there is enough space for the people who would like to come, doesn’t clash with the Birthday Party or the Ball, and is at a time that most people, including some of the team, will be able to attend.
We are also acutely aware that approximately 30% of people who come to BiCon are first-timers and there will be others who did not know Kay. We very much don’t want to do anything unwelcoming or distressing to any BiCon attenders, something which Kay himself would never have wanted.
We don’t want anyone to feel deterred or unwelcome at BiCon because of our sadness at Kay’s death, but we do feel it is important to mark the passing of someone who was so important to many in the bi community, and to remember the good things he contributed.
So sad to hear about Kay A 1 in a million person never had a bad word to say about anyone. Will be missed by everyone who knew her and I have lost a special friend. My thoughts go to all family and friends
The world is a poorer place without him.
Hi —
I don't know whether anyone will read this now, but still….
I was very sad to find this webpage, because I was an old friend of Kay's years ago and have been trying to get in touch again. I knew Kay when I was an undergraduate at Birmingham in 1994 — we first met at the Brown's meals in Coventry…happy days! And that's where we met. Kay became a good friend and a mentor of sorts for a few years. We used to talk about so much, and I miss him greatly. He was a great influence on me and I feel privileged to have known him.
Best wishes and condolences to his friends and family. Matt.
Sad beyond anything I can express to read of Kay's death. I knew him through the uk.singles website, which was totally NOT a chat-up area; Kay's learning, humour and generosity of love shone through everything and I had the amazing pleasure of meeting him just once at a gathering in York. Shy and unassuing in the flesh, he helped me through one of the most difficult stages of my life when I had become involved with a woman who was gay but who cared for me and whom I loved totally, and our ongoing friendship is almost entirely due to the way he guided me through those months.
I have no idea of his domestic life nor do I wish to know about it, but my love and warmth is sent to those who had the pleasure of knowing the kindest and most generous man who ever came my way.
Rest in peace, Kay, and thanks for some amazing one liners. And I never did say, "I love you" and maybe I should.
xxxx